Delicious!

It's nice to know I can shop, get berated by a Brit and still cook a three course meal without crying, all in three hours! I made an amazing pulled pork sandwich, grilled up some lamb with a delightful sauce and made a baked apple dessert with grill marks - WHO KNEW!
The Chantix continues to work wonders - tired as hell in the morning when I wake up, but you would be too if you were pushing a cart mock ten around Price Chopper with only ten minutes to make a list and get supplies.
Haven't smoked in 4 days and have no desire to.
Have a great day!

chantix dreams...

So - I have been on Chantix for a few days and one of the side effects, apparently, is vivid and unusual dreams. I have always had weird dreams, but I can see where Pfizer is coming from. Last night I was Sonny Carinthos' (General Hospital, the BEST SOAP EVER!!!) girlfriend - a mob slut. Spent a lot of time in a bar with him, owned a gun - it was a little silver pistol that fit in a girls hand - then I was in my mother's manure pile looking at my car that was stuck when who gets out of it? Kelly Ripa! Being a mob bosses girlfriend, all I had to do was tell her to hand over the keys and she did and ran, but before she did I noticed she owned a ...hippopotamus. I can't make this shit up folks! After she ran away I was in the recovery room of a hospital waiting for my mother who just had an eye lift - she was explaining to me that she had a poor moment before the surgery because instead of her, the staff thought she was Solomon, a black man in a wheelchair that I work with (in real life) and she was afraid the surgery wasn't going to be done correctly. Her eyes looked great, by the way. Can't wait to fall asleep again. Bring on the midgets!!!! Have a great day!

UUUMMM...NOPE

Couldn't make it more than 1 1/2 hours around smokers and not have one - OK, a whole pack by days end. I am sooooo weak!!!! I have figured that I can't drink alcohol because that's my trigger, which is good...and as a "sign", when we finally returned home at 7 p.m. there was a message on the voice mail from Rite Aid that my pre-authorization was expedited and my Chantix is ready for pick up anytime for only my copay:-) I am very disappointed in myself, but am back on the horse this morning. My arms are COVERED with some itchy rash thing which I am sure is a reaction to my smoking - that's the only thing I can think of. I am such an ASSHOLE!!! Don said he knew it was a bad idea to go in the first place and put me in a situation that I wasn't able to handle yet - he definitely knew I would need more than 4 days without a cigarette to be strong. He also knows how I get when I have been drinking - hilarious, yes...a chain smoker, YUP!
The benefit was a success and they raised a lot of money for a good cause and I am happy I went.
I will keep updating with my success - I am determined to be a non-smoker!!!!

It's the fourth day...Today I get to test myself and hang out with people that are smoking - lots of them. I don't think it will be a problem, though. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I am trying not to jinx myself, but the nicotine is out of my system and I am now just dealing with the "habit". I realized that I stopped doing needlepoint because I couldn't hold a cigarette and stitch at the same time - this could be a hint at what everyone is getting for Christmas this year:-) They are right about the taste of food, too. I realize I use WAY to much salt. So far so good with the eating to compensate thing as well - good news considering my ass is the size of Asia already. Monday I get to jump on the exercise bandwagon and I am actually looking forward to that. Treadmill is dusted off and ready to go...
I also am thinking (thanks B) that if I took $7.26 a day ($5.00, silly B) and put it away I would have all my credit card balances paid off by July - just in time to max them out on a great hat and a day at the races/spa:-) Have a great weekend!

Wait - Come Back!!!

So...went to the Doctor on Wednesday morning and he had great words of encouragement for me. "You are a freakin' trainwreck, Deb." Thanks, Dr. Weis - Fuck you! But, he is right. I am kissing 40, Diabetic (not hereditary), overweight and a smoker. So - while on vacation this week I became a non-smoker - hopefully forever, but at least for now. I threw the cigarettes I had with me out the window, dropped my prescription for Chantix off at Rite Aid and went back an hour later after driving around trying not to buy cigarettes to find that I needed pre-approval and insurance wasn't covering the pills. If I had $159.00 in my pocket, I would have paid for them anyway, but I didn't. So, since 9 p.m. 3/17/09 I haven't smoked - they say it takes three days for the nicotine to be out of my system, so that's not an issue anymore, but the habit still is. I have been drinking water like it's going out of style and I also have washed every stitch of clothing in the house - I have washed and re-washed dishes, read 3 books, planted all my seeds in starter kits to be ready for May, cleaned my car (somewhat), made salsa from scratch and played Mahjong virtually non-stop to fight the urge to smoke. Not so bad after all, really. The weekend will be the real test - social things to do and hanging around people smoking might be a test, but I'll let you know. Have a great weekend!

Tasty Angels

Has anyone ever heard that if you see a feather randomly that it's an angel? I am not talking seeing a bird hit by a car and grabbing all the carnage thinking "ooohhh angel, angel, angel", I am talking seeing a feather floating through the air for no reason whatsoever. Well, I don't know where I got it from, but I believe they are angels.
I got through my weekend on call just fine - had to work 9 hours on Saturday, but it wasn't an overnight and that's what makes me panic.
I found a feather Saturday morning and I didn't save it - it was floating through the air in my kitchen - I let it land on the floor and just walked over it. I had to work.
Sunday, I saw a feather in my car early in the morning and it floated by my face - I caught the sucker and I ate it! Didn't work on Sunday - only had two calls and they were bullshit calls - phone hasn't rung at all this morning...coincidence? I think not! I think I might be a bit constipated, but other than that - I am good!
I have used the feather previously on call weekends as well. I saw one once and put it in my sock, but during the night I kicked my socks off and the angel was gone. Eating them works much better:-)
Have a great day!

AAAAAAGHHHHH

RABBIT, RABBIT, RABBIT. If I slide off my steps and land under my car on the ice out front of my house ONE MORE TIME, I swear to god I am going to fucking stay there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why I don't see it coming, but one foot off the steps, look of horror on my face, huge gasp of terror and then CRASH!!!! Down I go like the Titanic after it decided to stop hanging on to the top of the ocean. It's never graceful, always painful and although I fail to realize it...completely predictable!!!! Went to the store for Halite today and couldn't find any, so if you don't hear from me for awhile, it means I attempted to go to work tomorrow morning and the gods are laughing so hard at me they are peeing their pants. I will be under my car, crying...